Connecting

Insight and techniques for growing trust and sincerity

The skill of developing insight and techniques for growing trust and sincerity can be used within so many relationships, from professional to personal. Having not yet been exposed to being a manager of people in a business setting i can only apply this to rasing my children and other personal relationships - but i assume the end result would be the same.

A personal example i have for growing trust and sincerity i have experienced is between myself and my 5 year old son, Sam. Since Sam was a baby he has often had to have admissions in hospital due to a metabolic disorder he was born with. It has been tough to explain to him that he has to be addmitted into hospital (and that became harder as he got older and can verbalise his dislike of needles), but nevertheless i had to tell him it had to happen for him to stay safe and well. I desperately wanted him to understand why going to hospital has to happen, for keeping him safe and alive. For it to be less trumatic for him i needed to listen, hear and understand exactly what it was that scared him and what his concerns were, knowing I couldn’t stop it from having to happen. What i discovered was by listening to him, acknowledging that his fears were totally justified, not claiming to be able to fix them, but promising i will always be with him calmed him - even as a little boy. Showing him empathy helped, and building trust has worked. It has helped in both the short and long term. As time has gone on and he has gotten bigger, i feel that he trusts me, knowing that i am not keeping any nasty truths hidden, that it won’t be very fun - and will hurt a little - but being frank and candid in a compassionate kind delivery has enabled him to develope trust in me, and feel much more comfortable when faced with the scary situation. If a little child can be helped with this techniuqe i feel most adults would also responde well to it.

Loving kindness meditation

I think of myself as generally quite aware of sending kindness out to others, but after reading through the exercise “Just Like Me / Loving Kindness Practice” bringing that from the subconscious into the conscious mind would take it so much further. I really think the habits could be relatively easy to develop and improve upon.

After reading through the script ‘Just like Me’ I also discovered how instantaneously i could begin the feeling of forgivness to other when i feel angry with them or wronged by them. It all seems very straight forward: bringing these thoughts and habits to the subconscious is a very powerful tool which can improve all relationships in our lives, professional and personal.

Empathic listening

As we are not yet in the formal setting i did a little informal empathic listening when talking with friends. I feel like it went well, asking probing open questions, allowing them time to speak, not interrupting but letting them know i am listening and engaged with eye contact, nods and body langage. Once they had finished speaking i would think of the best way to articulate what i thought i had heard about how they were feeling, and suggest this to them rather than just tell them how they were feeling. It went well, and i feel it was helpful to them. I enjoy listening, i like people to know they can reply on my supoort and help if they want to talk about something on their mind.>

Political awareness exercise

Think of a difficult situation from your present or past, when there was some conflict or disagreement, something real, something that has some meaning and potency for you (i found this exercise really tricky!).  

Describe the situation as though you are 100 percent correct and reasonable. Do that either in writing or by talking about it in a monologue.

That last major disagreement i had was debating Brexit with friends and acquaintances. I voted for the UK to stay in in the EU. I felt and still feel that being part of a larger organisation was much more beneficial to the future of the UK, and felt continuing to be a smaller part of a larger thing bought with it protection and a brighter future for the next generation, offering free movement within Europe for generations to come, and allowing us to benefit from all the skills that other EU citizens bought into the country.

 

Now describe the situation as though the other person is (or the other people are) 100 percent correct and reasonable. Do that either in writing or by talking about it in a monologue.

By choosing to leave the EU people will be happier that they will feel safer from the troubles Europe is facing. There will be less strain on housing and the health system, and less threat from terrorism. It will also create more jobs for the Britsh people.